could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
