Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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