Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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