Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My ass is underappreciated
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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