I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My ass is underappreciated
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
