he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
