Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
