please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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