So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
