OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
