i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
