my room smells like sperm. sweet.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I had to cum in my sink.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
