i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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