I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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