PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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