He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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