you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
