Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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