Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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