I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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