I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
