i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we're making bets on your personal life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
