May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
