did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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