never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
