Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
