im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
