im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
