I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
