you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
