have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
