we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
