At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
