The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
