i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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