areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
