you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
