just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
