I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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