I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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