i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he thought i was a dude.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
