Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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