I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
