She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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