My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
