She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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