Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
