did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
