it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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