Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
