see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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