i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
