i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
try to milk me bitch
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
