do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
