Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
