so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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