When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
