Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
