Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize