okay pat passed out under dana's car
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
