the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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