the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You are a genius and a whore.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
